Suicide Squad belated review & other stuff

Hello and welcome to the 08/14/2016 edition of The Comic Shop Blog!

I can’t even really pretend to tell you that I’ve kept up on comic related TV, comic, or movie news for the past few weeks as I have found myself busy with life & life associated nonsense.

That said I have dropped some disposable income on some comics recently.  I’ve been pulling Nightwing, Titans, & Captain America: Steve Rogers and I also picked up the Suicide Squad Rebirth & 2 Deadshot trades (Bulletproof & Most Wanted).  I have not read the Deadshot trades yet; however, I will say that I have found everything else to be quite enjoyable.

• Nightwing – This series has not (to this point) explained how Dick Grayson put the secret identity genie back in the bottle, but it has been very entertaining.  I think part of the creative problem over the years has been that they do not know what to do with Dick to give him a better sense of purpose with this new series he has a big mission that impacts the entire DC universe as he has joined the Parliament of Owls in an attempt to bring them down all over the world.  This fits in narratively as Dick was a child in a traveling circus growing up so it makes more sense for him to be a nomadic character rather than having a city to defend.

• Titans – Wally West made his triumphant return in the pages of “Rebirth” and now has returned to his old friends the Titans (Nightwing, Donna Troy, Arsenal, & Others) this is a monthly and is only 2 issues in, but it has already tugged on the humble blogger’s heart strings.  This is the book that will ultimately bring the DC universe in contact with the author of their pain Doctor Manhattan, so I’m really looking forward to that.

• Captain America: Steve Rogers – This may be the most beautiful comic I have ever purchased.  The artwork is phenomenal and the story is incredibly engaging.  I had lost interest in Cap comics after the outstanding Ed Brubaker run came to a close, but this iteration has got me right back in.  Despite the controversial reveal in the last panel of the first issue this has been a solid restart to the Steve Rogers version of Captain America.

• Suicide Squad: Rebirth – This issue is just setting the table for what is to come for the titular Squad.  I don’t have a real opinion on it yet, but I’m interested enough to see where it goes from here.

THE Belated Suicide Squad Review – The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly (SPOILERS)

The Good:

Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) – I just want to get this out of the way first because I’ve seen other reviewers say that she dipped in and out of accent, and said that in a negative light.  My perception is that it was a conscious decision by Robbie to illustrate just how bat sh!t crazy Harley is.  I could be wrong, but that was my take away.  While I do not like the tattoo motif for her or Joker it was a fresh take on both characters, & we got to see an ever so brief glimpse of the classic Jester costume.  I thought Robbie stole the show in a way that I was doubtful she could, and while it could be a little much at times it was some much need levity in the WB universe.

The Intros:

I really did not want to like the origin stories for each character, but it ended up being one of the stronger points in the movie for me.  While it borrowed a bit from “Guardians of the Galaxy” it was actually better done IMHO.  I will get into this more later, but after thinking about it a bit I thought Joker would’ve been better served to have just been in the flashback & the very end.

THE FUN:

This is the first WB movie with an actual sense of levity, and a diverse & bright color palette.  It’s amazing how such subtle aesthetic changes can affect my opinion of a movie, but that’s how I roll.  I thought the humor was good, and mostly well timed.  I also thought that the frenetic pace of the film kept it from seeming like a long, tedious watch.

THE ACTION:

David Ayer starts giving us action as soon as the movie gets the initial set-up underway, and that was a much needed and welcome change after the tedious pace of “Batman vs. Superman”.

Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) 

Davis was about as perfect as Waller as I could ask for outside of CCH Pounder.  She was cold and calculating, and absolutely on point.

Other random goods:  I said briefly on Facebook that this was the first movie I remember enjoying Will Smith in since probably “Men in Black”, and I honestly meant that.  While it wasn’t the traditional Floyd Lawton death wish Deadshot of the comics I thought his turn as a parent trying to gain custody of his daughter through all this crazy mess was remarkably relatable and human.  I think he has two of the best action scenes in the whole movie also.  I thought the soundtrack was good if not a little on the nose at points, but it was a welcome change from Zimmer-drums. 

I loved the bromance between Kinnaman’s Flagg & Smith’s Deadshot.  It was a very subtle & well executed show of respect between the two characters that came from different worlds.

Jay Hernandez as El Diablo was pretty damn intriguing especially as we got further into the film.  For the little CGI used on this film it was used well & for good cause.

THE BAD:

The stereotyping:  This movie was so lazy with the stereotyping.  Katana I mostly give a pass, but Croc puttering out monosyllabic “black guy” dialogue & asking for BET as a reward for saving the world was just so stupid.  Not to mention Captain Boomerang with his cans of Fosters that he magically has.  I’m surprised he didn’t ask someone if a dingo ate their baby.  It’s just stupid, lazy, and unacceptable in 2016.  

The Cuts:  There was clearly stuff left on the cutting room floor once again so the studio could put in what they wanted, and once again it hurts the storytelling.  I have to see it again to come up with specific examples, but as I said the frenetic pace is a good and bad thing for this movie.

Joker is marginalized & a love-sick teenager: So Joker should’ve been the villain here.  That’s all I really need to say.  He is a MAJOR character in the DC universe and he is relegated to a side plot to get back his girlfriend.  THAT’S IT. THAT’S the reason he’s in the movie.  An iconic character is reduced to a weepy tween in an effort to appease the Hot Topic crowd.  I liked Leto, but I felt that his characterization was off in this regard.  As I’ve said before these films are open for the director/writers/producers to interpret the characters how they want, but it seems like a waste to me.  Joker would’ve been better suited to be limited to the intro to Harley & the last scene he’s in in the movie.

Rick Flagg is marginalized & a love sick teenager:  Flagg a bad ass special forces dude is also bit by the Romeo & Juliet bug as his whole reason for going through with the mission is to free his beloved June (Carla Delevingne) from the grips of The Enchantress.  He was literally better written in the Suicide Squad: Rebirth #1 than he was in a major motion picture.  While I’ve enjoyed Joel Kinnaman before (on House of Cards mainly) I thought his turn as Flagg was uninspired and uninterestingother than the earlier mentioned bromance. 

THE UGLY: 

The Script:  Good lord I can’t imagine David Ayer (Training Day, End of Watch, Sabotage, etc.) had a hand in writing this.  There is literally a scene where they cut out a character’s heart then Flagg & Lawton look at one another and say “Her heart’s out”.  That magical moment left me sitting in my seat saying “no shit Sherlock we just watched it”.  Smith’s Lawton has some really bad dialogue in which it appears that Ayer wanted him to channel the Fresh Prince in his speech.  

The Villain:  Hmmm let’s cast an Oscar Award winning actor to play one of the DC universe’s most iconic villains, but then subject him to a role in a subplot.  THEN we will cast a model/actor (not the other way around) to be the big bad that is bad for reasons.  All kidding aside I’m glad that WB went full rip-off of “Guardians of the Galaxy” with a bland and uninspired villain.  

I don’t have much more to say.  On a scale to 10 I give it about a 6.5 or 7.  I thought it had some problems and it doesn’t match up to the fun I had watching “Civil War”, but it was one of the best WB movies to date.  (BTW I won’t be calling them DC movies anymore because I don’t want to embarrass WB with that comic shit, since that’s their concern).

I would still say Marvel & “Civil War” won summer movie season 2016, but I think WB has some strong offerings in the future based on the strength of the “Wonder Woman” trailer & the “Justice League” tease.

That’s all for today, happy reading, and I will see you next time at The Comic Shop!

A life with comics reexamined and other randomness

Hello and welcome to the 07/20/2016 edition of The Comic Shop Blog!

I am happy to be back and I have oh so many things to talk about today.

First… Recent events with Captain America, and other characters radically delineating from the status quo has really got me thinking about the way that I look at comics in general.  I think for the better part of 20 years I’ve been looking at comic history the wrong way.  Every time there is a radical change we hear the outcry “Iceman was never gay in his history” or “Thor was never a woman”, and so on.  The thing is that this line of thinking is right & wrong.  True in the publication history these characters never had these character traits thrust upon them, but false in the sense that it is not true history.  Comics by their very nature are folklore or legends that are molded & shaped by the person telling the story.  Each volume resets the meter to zero and allows the next storyteller or storytellers to impart their own unique vision, values, and thoughts into the narrative.  If you happen to not appreciate the current folklore vote with your dollars, and wait for the next volume to come around & the next story to be told.

Second… I chose not to see X-men: Apocalypse as I just dreaded another affair with the entire universe in the balance.  These movies have been as dark & dreary as a Zach Snyder wet dream, and this was a summer that I could not take another go round with destruction porn.  I’ll check it out for $1 out of the Redbox, but by most reports from friends I’m not missing much.  I very much enjoyed “First Class”, “DOFP”, & the first two X-men movies. I find; however, that they suffer from the same fundamental flaw as the Transformer franchise and the DC Snyder Murderverse in that they get that these are characters, but they misread who they are at their core.  

Third… I did; however, see “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows” and I really enjoyed for the most part.  They did a lot to change the things that bothered me most about the first one, and I have to say Beebop & Rocksteady were very cool to see in a live action form.  That said I thought Stephen Amell’s prepubescent, wannabe detective version of Casey Jones was grating and annoying, and Tyler Perry was absolutely over the top as Baxter Stockman.  Also how is Shredder alive?  Kind of glossed over that one.  

Fourth…DC’s “Rebirth” has begun and your humble blogger is sooooo happy.  The return of Wally West, the reemergence of Nightwing, and seeing all kinds of “hopeful” changes to what had become a tedious Universe to navigate has me feeling quite good.  With that though…

Fifth… DC has unleashed a hellish middle finger to “Watchmen” creator Allan Moore with the new norm of the Dr. Manhattan being the unseen force causing all the grief for the DC heroes over the last few years.  Not that this particular use of his character is a middle finger, but that they are using the characters explicitly to hold on to the rights is kind of a low blow.  Not that Moore deserves any pity, but it’s a crummy way to do business.  To add to it Moore’s Batman story “The Killing Joke” is due for a limited theatrical release followed by a DVD/Blu Ray that will surely make a nice bit of coinage for DC’s movie division.

Sixth… Speaking of divisions as a consumer I am very concerned about the divided nature of Marvel’s house.  Dr. Strange will represent the first Marvel movie made without the input of the comic division, and I’m not sure how comfortable I am with the leading comic book franchise bailing out on the people that understand the source material.  It hasn’t worked for DC and they reversed course by bringing Geoff Johns onboard for future film products, and it gives me pause to see Marvel moving in that direction.  At the same time the TV & Movie people have had a clear rift and it’s a little disheartening as well as it looks increasingly less likely that there will be much crossover in the future despite the marketing that “it’s all connected”.  I’m okay with Daredevil remaining as a sole defender of an urban area, but Luke Cage, Punisher, & even Jessica Jones have had major impacts on the main Avengers storylines in the past.  That said both divisions seem to be doing quite well for themselves it’s just frustrating to have awkward lip service wedged in once a year on “AOS” to promote the main movie narrative while that courtesy does not go both ways.

I think that’s plenty for today so farewell, godspeed, happy reading, and I will see you next time at The Comic Shop!

Captain America: Civil War - a belated review

Hello and welcome to the 05/22/2016 edition of The Comic Shop!

First...Big news on the page as DC's next big event "Rebirth" kicks off at midnight this Wednesday.  I've seen some of the spoilers and it looks like we are in for one helluva ride.  Let's just say all of the woes of the DC universe over the past few years are because of a certain Doctor we all know.  Not to be outdone Marvel has pushed the release of Steve Rogers: Captain America #1 to midnight the same night.

Second...It's time for a TV roundup y'all.  I'm trying to keep up on "Flash" and although I was not initially a fan of the Zoom redesign I have to say that the story is incredibly compelling.  I've stayed away from "Arrow".  I have to say after catching an occasional "Agents of SHIELD" episode it has piqued my interest so I've started watching that on Netflix.  Season three of AoS just wrapped and it will be on Netflix within the next 2 weeks!

Third...Early screenings of "Suicide Squad" have been very favorable, but so were early screenings of "BvS" so take that for what it's worth.  I've read mixed things about "X-men: Apocalypse", but it looks interesting enough for me to plunk down my $10.

Fourth... "Thor: Ragnarok" has one helluva cast!  Man, joining Chris Hemsworth, Idris Elba, and Anthony Hopkins are Mark Ruffalo, Cate Blanchett, Karl Urban, and Jeff Goldblum among others.  It's going to be uh uh uh-mazing!

Alright enough of this bullcrap....let's review the billion dollar movie that got outdrawn by "Angry Birds" at the box office this weekend.

If you haven't caught up on the MCU films you may be a little lost with what I'm going to talk about today so go no further.  Also just a word of warning spoilers will lurk heavy.  

Good:

There are so many things that I enjoyed about this movie, but I think the strength for me is that they didn't alter the two headliners much to make the fight happen.  The filmmakers stayed true to who these characters were, and most of the conflict came from their views being naturally different.  The "Civil War" comic upon which this story was somewhat based took a lot of liberties with Cap & Iron Man to not only make them fight, but to keep them fighting.

That said in this movie like in all good stories character is key.

-Props to the Russo Bros for that ONE LINE OF DIALOGUE to address why Tony went back to being Iron Man after the conclusion of Iron Man 3.  In doing so they set up this conflict in a roundabout way.  This Tony Stark isn't addicted to alcohol (like in the revolutionary "Demon in a Bottle" storyline) he is addicted to being Iron Man.  Like any addict he didn't realize he had a problem until he hit rock bottom (losing Pepper Potts in this context).  When the opportunity comes along for someone else to regulate his behavior Tony jumps in with both feet, because he knows he is powerless over his own addiction.  Not only that, but he has seen the physical cost of collateral damage of his invention (in this case the Avengers) once again, as he originally became Iron Man to get his weapons out of the hands of terrorists.

-Cap on the other hand has had a problem with authority & a lack of autonomy going all the way back to when he was a skinny weakling.  He even forged government forms because he was so passionate about doing his part.  This is a constant theme with him that carries through and makes him hesitant to sign on for government authority over the Avengers.  For Steve Rogers the idea is very present that structures become shackles if he is not vigilant.  Another thing that really drives him into conflict in this movie is his desperate need to cling to the the last few remnants of his life from before he went into the ice.  Those being his best friend Bucky (also known as the MK-Ultra styled Hydra Killer The Winter Soldier), and his former love Peggy Carter.  Carter's death I think really puts an emphasis on Cap's search for his friend, and his need to protect him well past a point that one would reasonably walk away. 

-There are a lot of great fight scenes in this movie the airport fight between the two teams is one of the better action pieces I've seen in any movie, and the dramatic intimate finale was absolutely pitch perfect.  It would have stolen away a lot of the drama and emotion to have two full teams going at it in that final showdown.

-Typically when something comes down to a third reboot it's time to pack it in, but Tom Holland has given a new lease on life as Spider-man.  His interactions with Tony Stark, and his constant chattiness during the big airport fight had me in stitches both times I saw this film.

-Black Panther!  Chadwick Boseman conveys a strong, quiet, confidence as King T'challa, and honestly he may be the first true badass take this guy serious character in the MCU.  I got chills both times from the "I'll kill him myself".  The juxtaposition of T'challa choosing justice with Stark choosing vengeance off camera was incredibly powerful and poignant.  I seriously can't wait for the Ryan Coogler helmed solo film.

- Ant-Man!  HOLY SHIT!  that's all I have to say about that.

- Elizabeth Olsen (Scarlett Witch) is still gorgeous, and her weird relationship with Paul Bettany's Vision will surely be a point of interest in the future.

- The Russo's should direct the upcoming "Black Widow" solo.  They have a real respect for the character and I have enjoyed her more in both "Captain America" movies than I have in her other three appearances in the MCU.

- I'm on the fence about this one and you'll see why shortly, but I think Daniel Bruhl's Baron Zemo might be the best Marvel villain to date.  He has a wonderful Dark Knight Joker-esque feel as a guy that just wants to "watch the world burn."

- There are a lot of other things I really enjoyed, but I want to get on to the other parts here.

Bad:

-CONVENIENCE:  seriously this is becoming my least favorite superhero movie troupe.  There is no explanation for a lot of things that people just happen to know in this movie.  Zemo just happens to know that Bucky killed *SPOILERS*?  Zemo knows that the United Nations is going to take unilateral action to censure the Avengers? I realize that it's only a 2 hour movie, but this is something that is present in almost every superhero film.

- Some of the humor was at poor times.  Thankfully they didn't put any quips in the last heart-wrenching scene, and actually played it for the serious part that it was.  The airport fight with all the humor and banter looks more like the Avengers training in the X-men's Danger Room than it does a knockdown drag out fight.

- Nobody said in a Forrest Gump voice "Lt. Rhodes you got you some magic legs"...speaking of poorly timed humor.  Too soon?

Ugly:

- Crossbones.  Now don't get me wrong I loved that Frank Grillo's character made a return, but it was way too brief, and I would've like to see him again down the line.  Not to say it's impossible, but this may have been a quick one-off of the character.

- Stakes.  In this sequel-building and cinematic universe building world we are in there is very little at stake in these movies.  Like I said the last 5-10 minutes of the movie will leave you breathless, but in all truth everyone turns out physically relatively unscathed.  Mentally is a different story, but I digress.  Maybe this is just setting the table for the arrival of Thanos in the Infinity Stone movies, but at some point people are gonna stop believing that Marvel will eventually pull the trigger on the big deaths.


That's it for today...Thanks for reading and I'll see you next time at The Comic Shop!

The pitch & other stuff

Hello and welcome to the 05/04/2016 edition of The Comic Shop Blog!

Your humble blogger is caught up in the anticipation for “Civil War” on Thursday Night!  The Captain America movies have been some of the brightest spots in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and this one does not look like it will disappoint!  I will get a review up as soon as I can instead of generating a belated review like I did for BvS.

Speaking of which (FIRST)… I omitted one of the worst things in my mega-BvS break down.  File Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor under ugly.  I usually am not a fan of recasting roles midstream, but I’ve spent the better part of the last month in seclusion praying to Kirk Cameron for a recast of this role for the “Justice League” movies.  I honestly don’t know how to describe how he played that role other than to say he was a billionaire atheist with autism.  His motivations weren’t clear and his behavioral tics were just bizarre.  I am not asking for Gene Hackman/Kevin Spacey land grab Luthor, but something tangible would be a start.  As always the best villains are the hero of their own story, and I just don’t see that from EisenLuthor.

Second…I respect Olivia Munn for turning down a “girlfriend” role in “Deadpool” to play Psylocke in “X-men: Apocalypse”.  She looks great in the role, but I still worry about her screen presence.  Only time will truly tell.

Third…TV ROUND-UP…Punisher is having his own series (!) which I said was the best idea on this very blog when Marvel got the rights back (I’m waiting on my royalty check).  Otherwise I’m behind so I will update you guys when I dive back in to superhero TV.

Fourth…My Indiana Comic-Con haul was all Superman related.  I walked away with nearly the entire run of Max Landis’s “American Alien” and I have to say I kind of love it.  It is a story with great heart, and it alters the Superman mythos in new and interesting ways.  I recommend it.  I also checked out the available issues of “Lois & Clark” which features the Pre-52 Superman living in hiding with Lois & his son Jonathan in the New 52 universe.  It’s a really interesting story, and another super story that I would highly recommend.

Speaking of Superman… (warning this content is super dorky)

“The Pitch”

*keep in mind that this story is told without any regard for continuity in the DC universe new or old.  Some elements have been borrowed from other creators, but the overall story is my own creation*

The Trials of Clark Kent of Smallville  (I’m not married to the title BTW)

The Character:  Clark Kent age 19-21

The Setup:  My story is about Clark in his formative years (although I do not like the Christ-like imagery this is a “Jesus in the wilderness” story or in a more simplistic take it’s a Star Trek exploration mission with Clark).

It is set at a time when the only thing we know about superheroes is old footage of Wonder Woman during WWI.  

Clark only marginally understands that he is an alien, but he has never lost in a fight (although he tries to shy away from them) and has never even bled.  He is not cocky, but is not humble either.  This story at its core is about how the universe humbles Clark Kent, and prepares him to be the protector of Metropolis/Earth.  

After an argument with his father about his responsibility to mankind Clark sets off to explore space to see if he can find others like him, or more information about where he comes from.

The Supporting Cast:  This would be a departure from most of the currently established Superman mythos.  

J:  Artificial intelligence.  This is a Kryptonian Tablet placed in the pod with little Kal-el by his mother.  J is Clark’s only companion for the duration of the journey.  His Kryptonian programming allows Clark to use him to build almost anything.  J comes in very handy as Clark experiences real pain & real fear as he travels through the cosmos through different atmospheres & different solar radiation.

Li’ara:  A slave girl on a distant planet that serves as a love interest to Clark.

K’ashon: The despotic leader of the same planet.

*There will be more but this is just the first arch of the story*

The Universe:  In my mind the universe is a very dark and scary place. It’s like Clark has spent his whole life as big dog in the yuppie neighborhood, and decided to go to biker bar looking for trouble.  The different atmospheres and solar radiation cause new issues for Clark as he becomes exponentially more powerful on some planets, and extremely weak on others.  Not to mention the time away from earth’s yellow sun has slowly eroded his cognitive abilities so he is not as super-smart as he was after drinking in earth’s radiation for most of his years.  

So that is the basic premise of what I would want to pitch if I got the chance to do a Superman story my way.  In my most perfect vision it is a 12 to 15 issue story with 5 issue archs basically serving as each year.  

There is a lot more to it, but that is the basic skeleton.  If you are intrigued by the concept let me know, and if not that is okay too. 

As always thanks for reading!  Be sure to visit your Local Comic Shop on Saturday for “Free Comic Book Day”, and I will see you next time at The Comic Shop!

Tell me do you read? YOU WILL

Hello and welcome to the first Comic Shop Blog in a LOOOONNGG TIME! 

So it’s been awhile I hope the dozens and dozens of you out there have been well.  The humble blogger has been so busy with work, dad time, and other things that I have not found a time to sit down and expel some mental excrement. 

 So let’s get to it!  (I will warn you the BvS review will be super long, boring, and spoilerific so read at your own peril I guess since the movie came out a month ago)

 First… “Deadpool” was probably one of the best comic book adaptations since the first Iron Man, Winter Soldier, Avengers, or Guardians.  Ryan Reynolds as the titular merc with a mouth is the most spot on casting since Marvel hired a former addict with an image problem to play Tony Stark.  I know I’m not the first to say that about Reynolds, but I am just in awe of how much he embodies the character. 

The movie’s soundtrack (much like Guardians’) is very much its own character and serves to set the mood for the entire film.  Director Tim Miller and writers Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick deserve a big ol’ heap of praise for finding the perfect tone to convey the sophomoric yet tragic character.

Sure the plot is the same contrived origin story that we will see many more times until the “extended universe/comic property” craze collapses under its own weight like a neutron star, but the execution is flawless.  I’d like to say a lot more, but it’s definitely something I will be adding to my collection on 05/10/2016.

Second…  Speaking of the shared movie universe trend consider the following:  HASBRO toys (GI Joe, Transformers, Rom Space Knight, JEM and the holograms, JENGA), Universal Monsters (Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy), Ghostbusters, and Hanna Barbera cartoons (Yogi Bear, Flinstones, Huckleberry Hound, The Jetsons)  have all expressed an interest in creating their own shared universes.  With that brings the probability of MULTIPLE movies in these franchises with sequels and crossovers.  Words can not express how little I am looking forward to most of this, and it’s just unfortunate that these other companies feel that creating a shared universe will make them more successful.  I would plunk down my ten bucks to see JENGA: THE MOVIE though, but maybe I’m just giving them bad ideas.

Third... How about a TV roundup???  Since I last posted I have finished “Jessica Jones” (excellent, dark, lots of emotion), “Daredevil” season 2 (love it! Bernthal is amazing, Karen Page is a powerful character in her own right, Foggy is the real heart of the show), and some other Netflix offerings that are not even tangentially related to comics.  After about episode 6 or 7 I gave up on the CW’s superhero offerings of “Arrow” season 4, “Flash” season 2, & “Legends of Tomorrow” season 1.  I could give a long list of reasons; however, the crucial piece is that I allowed the crappy, teen angst-ridden, festering sore that is “Felicity & Friends” (formerly known as Arrow) poison the well for the other shows.  Arrow went from a Nolan-ish version of Green Arrow to a tween pandering weekly episode of Power Rangers.

 In all honesty I plan on catching up on Flash season 2 when it releases on DVD, and I did catch the most recent episode “Zoom” that explored that characters’ origins.  To avoid spoilers I will just say I was floored by the episode and sorry that I had missed so much of this season. 

Fourth… io9.gizmodo.com is running a few articles about the making of the soon-to-be-released “Captain America: Civil War”.  There are a lot of interesting anecdotes about the process, and how many drafts of the script were written for certain contingencies.  If you have time to check it out I would recommend it.  Hell, you can read it right now I wouldn’t blame you.

Fifth…Let me preface this by saying I wanted to like this movie more than anything.  I really, really wanted to like this movie.  I have spent my whole life as an unapologetic DC fanboy.  Sure there were Marvel things that I liked and some that I loved, but nothing as much as Batman and Superman.  Hell, my son’s name is Jonathan (Kent) James (Gordon) for example. 

I am even a Zach Snyder fan (I guess) I loved “Dawn of the Dead”, “300”, and “Watchmen” I thought he did a terrific job on those films, and maybe this isn’t even his fault.  Maybe it’s because those other three properties I mentioned were all largely written-out before hand, and didn’t require an extensive drafting like the BvS script likely did.  The man makes some beautiful iconic imagery and hell I even liked “Man of Steel” when I disregard the qualms I have with the characterization of the big, blue Boy Scout. 

Needless to say I was emotionally invested in this way more than a 32-year-old man should be, but I digress. 

Come back and read this after you are done because I can’t say it enough I WANTED TO LOVE THIS MOVIE…. 

BvS - Good, Bad, & Ugly

Good –

Ben Affleck’s Batman & Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman were the two things I really enjoyed in this movie.  While I didn’t agree with the characterization of Batfleck (More on that in the ugly section) I absolutely loved the presence that Affleck had in the role.  He knew when to be a smarmy dick, when to be sincere, when to be intimidating, and when to say MARTHA (!!!!). 

Gadot wasn’t in the movie much and that was probably to her benefit, but she absolutely ruled the screen in the few scenes she was in.  Her battle with that genitally deficient teenage mutant ninja turtle character was really fun to watch, and it was really cool to see the unbreakable bracelets, the lasso of truth and sword in live-action.  I’m really looking forward to the Zach Snyder-less “Wonder Woman” solo next year.

Chris Pine had a cameo as Steve Trevor so that was okay.

Jeremy Irons, Lawrence Fishburn, and Holly Hunter reached the zero f’s given territory and literally chewed on the set during their limited screen time. They each actually produced one chuckle from the audience.

The main event fight was short, but filled with some really great visuals and dialogue.  Batman taunting Supes with the “I bet your parents told you that you were special” line made my spider-sense tingle. 

The facials from Henry Cavill’s Superman when he realized that the first dose of Kryptonite had worn off were absolutely incredible, and really marked his high point in the film in my mind.

I also have to mention how freaking incredible THAT Batman fight scene toward the end of the movie is.  I really enjoyed his first horror movie-like appearance in the movie as well.

BAD –

“Mr Batman, bring a dream (bum, bum, bum, bum)

Make it the darkest that you’ve ever seen (bum, bum, bum, bum)

Grip it like Joe Chill on your mother’s pearls (bum, bum, bum, bum)

Now go tell them all that it’s the end of the world (bum, bum, bum, bum)”

My apologies to The Chordettes for ruining a perfectly fine song for my own amusement; however, I use this to segue to the fact that I absolutely hated the dream/clairvoyant scenes with Batman.  The film doesn’t even start in earnest, and Snyder is already jumping from one narrative point to another with no rhyme or reason.  In an aside Thomas Wayne’s last act should never be to ball up his fist to further agitate the aggressor, but to comfort/shield his son from danger.  That said if I never see Thomas and MARTHA Wayne be murdered again I would be completely happy with it.  BvS is the 8^th cinematic version of Batman in the last 30 years we know he’s Batman because his parents are dead…IT IS KNOWN!!

We’ve seen some real advancement with the CGI rendering of large humanoid characters.  The Hulk immediately springs to mind as we have seen that character progress to look more and more lifelike.  Then there is doomsday in this movie (or you may refer to him as the genitally deficient teenage mutant ninja turtle or Bone Hulk if you like) which really makes you wonder if maybe a muscle guy in grey paint would’ve been better.  Maybe while they were shelling out money for a plastic Michael Shannon body they could’ve paid him to do mo-cap & serve as a model for the face rendering of the Super-Slayer.

Henry Cavill’s Superman had 43 lines of dialogue.  That is it.  Supermimes most verbose use of verbiage occurred as Clark Kent in the dick measuring library thing you saw in the trailer.  Most of his other screen time was spent sulking, nodding, watching other people speak, taking off for all flights like an asshole, getting his ass kicked, and playing Super-Christ (oh trust me I’m not done with that one yet).

You know what I love about comics?  When the bad guys, the good guys, and the guy at 7/11 know one another’s secret identities.  Oh, but don’t worry about Clark Kent he’s not missing after the Doomsday event he’s open-casket-in-MARTHA’s-house-dead.  So that pesky hide-behind-the-glasses-dual-identity thing that has been iconic for 75+ years that won’t burden us in any future Superman or Justice League movies.

Dammit Batfleck you had one job in the million bagpipes amazing grace funeral scene.  All you had to say was “of all the souls I’ve encountered in my life his was the most…human” <drop mic>.

Did you know Jimmy Olsen was an undercover spy for the CIA that was exposed and then shot in the desert because the director thought it was fun?  Yeah, that guy that who starred as “Superman’s Pal” in his own comic line surely couldn’t serve any purpose in future movies to help humanize Cavill’s Superman.

Speaking of that desert scene…how is that a set-up for Superman?  This is the George Costanza candy line-up of setting up a superhero to look bad.  “Yeah that bullet proof guy came down here from flying, threw old boy through a wall, and then he shot all these guys with a gun and definitely not his laser eyes.” 

One of the things that bothered me the most about BvS was that the characterizations were so off.  Essentially Goyer & Terrio grafted the Lex Luthor anti-Kryptonian rhetoric onto Batfleck to simplify why they needed to fight.  That would’ve been fine if Luthor wasn’t also in the movie, because of this choice it takes a compelling narrative away from Lex and what we are left with is a whiny atheist character.  I’m not a professional screenwriter or storyteller, but I think a much simpler way of looking at things would’ve been to play Superman & Batman off one another by reinforcing who they are as characters.  It plays out naturally with the rule of law (Superman) vs. vigilantism (Batman).  It could’ve easily been set up with Superman being slapped on the wrist by the government and them saying “don’t let anything like the battle of Metropolis happen again or we will have to go after you and the people like you” with Batman coming along to rock the apple cart for everybody.

The YouTube superhero intros in and of themselves were not that bad. That said they probably would’ve been better suited to be Blu-ray fodder, or viral marketing during the production of the “Justice League” movie.

There is more that I would probably like to say, but I’m already nearing 2000 words on this post and I’m losing steam, so…

UGLY-

Characterizations as I stated earlier were really my biggest problem with this film.  The main players just did not feel right to me.

Superman was the biggest transgression for me.  Snyder/Goyer/Terrio or whomever is so set on conveying this Christ-like mythology for big blue that they completely miss the mark on what that would look like.  Geoff Johns (DC’s resident guru & lord of all that he sees) wrote a near perfect characterization of Superman/Clark Kent in his book “Superman: Secret Origins”.  While the Christopher Reeve influence is definitely there Johns tweaks some things to really bring home how any version of the character can inspire hope in regular everyday people.  His Superman only sees himself as a man that uses his special abilities to do good, and through that he implores the people of Metropolis to use their own special abilities in service of others.  It’s that simple.  He is not a savior and would never to pretend to be one.  He doesn’t have a cynical world view; he tries to see the good in everyone, and is hesitant to use violence.  I’m not asking for a Richard Donner spin-the-earth-backwards innocent movie, but is it too much to ask for Superman to be an actual symbol for hope?  The Clark Kent that calls Jimmy Olsen James and listens to his problems because he respects him as a person, or the Clark that lets Steve Lombard try to pull pranks on him only to have them blow up in his face I’d love to see that guy.  Superman, when correctly written, is the guy you want to be, but also the guy you’d love to have as a big brother.  With the way he is portrayed in BvS there is no emotional tether, so I felt nothing when he was killed on screen.

The problems with Batman were more nerd-argument fodder.  I didn’t care for the killing, the branding, or even the fact that he was drinking alcohol, but it’s little stuff like that which is open to interpretation to each director and each viewer.   “Rawr Batman has killed in every cinematic adaptation RAWR,” that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

MARTHA THINGS

Being ear violated by Hans Zimmer’s “score” was a form of torture I would not even subject ISIS to.

EZRA MILLER there is no real reasoning here I just don’t like him, and I don’t want him to be Barry Allen.

Well I’ve reached my limit today.  If you read through that entire thing I will present you with a medal at a time TBD in my most Leia-est of dresses.  Until next time “TELL THAT TO ZOD’S SNAPPED NECK” oops I mean thanks for reading and I will see you soon at The Comic Shop.