Hello and welcome to the first Comic Shop Blog in a
LOOOONNGG TIME!
So it’s been awhile I hope the dozens and dozens of you out
there have been well. The humble
blogger has been so busy with work, dad time, and other things that I have not
found a time to sit down and expel some mental excrement.
So let’s get to it!
(I will warn you the BvS review will be super long, boring, and
spoilerific so read at your own peril I guess since the movie came out a month
ago)
First… “Deadpool” was probably one of the best comic book
adaptations since the first Iron Man, Winter Soldier, Avengers, or
Guardians. Ryan Reynolds as the
titular merc with a mouth is the most spot on casting since Marvel hired a
former addict with an image problem to play Tony Stark. I know I’m not the first to say that
about Reynolds, but I am just in awe of how much he embodies the
character.
The movie’s soundtrack (much like Guardians’) is very much
its own character and serves to set the mood for the entire film. Director Tim Miller and writers Rhett
Reese & Paul Wernick deserve a big ol’ heap of praise for finding the
perfect tone to convey the sophomoric yet tragic character.
Sure the plot is the same contrived origin story that we
will see many more times until the “extended universe/comic property” craze
collapses under its own weight like a neutron star, but the execution is
flawless. I’d like to say a lot
more, but it’s definitely something I will be adding to my collection on
05/10/2016.
Second…
Speaking of the shared movie universe trend consider the following: HASBRO toys (GI Joe, Transformers, Rom
Space Knight, JEM and the holograms, JENGA), Universal Monsters (Dracula,
Frankenstein, The Mummy), Ghostbusters, and Hanna Barbera cartoons (Yogi Bear,
Flinstones, Huckleberry Hound, The Jetsons) have all expressed an interest in creating their own shared
universes. With that brings the
probability of MULTIPLE movies in these franchises with sequels and
crossovers. Words can not express
how little I am looking forward to most of this, and it’s just unfortunate that
these other companies feel that creating a shared universe will make them more
successful. I would plunk down my
ten bucks to see JENGA: THE MOVIE though, but maybe I’m just giving them bad
ideas.
Third... How about a TV roundup??? Since I last posted I have finished “Jessica Jones”
(excellent, dark, lots of emotion), “Daredevil” season 2 (love it! Bernthal is
amazing, Karen Page is a powerful character in her own right, Foggy is the real
heart of the show), and some other Netflix offerings that are not even
tangentially related to comics.
After about episode 6 or 7 I gave up on the CW’s superhero offerings of
“Arrow” season 4, “Flash” season 2, & “Legends of Tomorrow” season 1. I could give a long list of reasons;
however, the crucial piece is that I allowed the crappy, teen angst-ridden,
festering sore that is “Felicity & Friends” (formerly known as Arrow)
poison the well for the other shows.
Arrow went from a Nolan-ish version of Green Arrow to a tween pandering
weekly episode of Power Rangers.
In all honesty
I plan on catching up on Flash season 2 when it releases on DVD, and I did
catch the most recent episode “Zoom” that explored that characters’
origins. To avoid spoilers I will
just say I was floored by the episode and sorry that I had missed so much of
this season.
Fourth… io9.gizmodo.com is running a few articles about the
making of the soon-to-be-released “Captain America: Civil War”. There are a lot of interesting
anecdotes about the process, and how many drafts of the script were written for
certain contingencies. If you have
time to check it out I would recommend it. Hell, you can read it right now I wouldn’t blame you.
Fifth…Let me preface this by saying I wanted to like this movie more than anything. I really, really wanted to like this movie. I have spent my whole life as an unapologetic DC fanboy. Sure there were Marvel things that I liked and some that I loved, but nothing as much as Batman and Superman. Hell, my son’s name is Jonathan (Kent) James (Gordon) for example.
I am even a Zach Snyder fan (I guess) I loved “Dawn of the
Dead”, “300”, and “Watchmen” I thought he did a terrific job on those films,
and maybe this isn’t even his fault.
Maybe it’s because those other three properties I mentioned were all
largely written-out before hand, and didn’t require an extensive drafting like
the BvS script likely did. The man
makes some beautiful iconic imagery and hell I even liked “Man of Steel” when I
disregard the qualms I have with the characterization of the big, blue Boy
Scout.
Needless to say I was emotionally invested in this way more
than a 32-year-old man should be, but I digress.
Come back and read this after you are done because I can’t
say it enough I WANTED TO LOVE THIS MOVIE….
BvS - Good, Bad,
& Ugly
Good –
Ben Affleck’s Batman & Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman were the
two things I really enjoyed in this movie. While I didn’t agree with the characterization of Batfleck
(More on that in the ugly section) I absolutely loved the presence that Affleck
had in the role. He knew when to be
a smarmy dick, when to be sincere, when to be intimidating, and when to say
MARTHA (!!!!).
Gadot wasn’t in the movie much and that was probably to her benefit, but she absolutely ruled the screen in the few scenes she was in. Her battle with that genitally deficient teenage mutant ninja turtle character was really fun to watch, and it was really cool to see the unbreakable bracelets, the lasso of truth and sword in live-action. I’m really looking forward to the Zach Snyder-less “Wonder Woman” solo next year.
Chris Pine had a cameo as Steve Trevor so that was okay.
Jeremy Irons, Lawrence Fishburn, and Holly Hunter reached the zero f’s given territory and literally chewed on the set during their limited screen time. They each actually produced one chuckle from the audience.
The main event fight was short, but filled with some really great visuals and dialogue. Batman taunting Supes with the “I bet your parents told you that you were special” line made my spider-sense tingle.
The facials from Henry Cavill’s Superman when he realized that the first dose of Kryptonite had worn off were absolutely incredible, and really marked his high point in the film in my mind.
I also have to mention how freaking incredible THAT Batman fight scene toward the end of the movie is. I really enjoyed his first horror movie-like appearance in the movie as well.
BAD –
“Mr Batman, bring a dream (bum, bum, bum, bum)
Make it the darkest that you’ve ever seen (bum, bum, bum, bum)
Grip it like Joe Chill on your mother’s pearls (bum, bum, bum,
bum)
Now go tell them all that it’s the end of the world (bum, bum,
bum, bum)”
My apologies to The Chordettes for
ruining a perfectly fine song for my own amusement; however, I use this to
segue to the fact that I absolutely hated the dream/clairvoyant scenes with
Batman. The film doesn’t even
start in earnest, and Snyder is already jumping from one narrative point to
another with no rhyme or reason.
In an aside Thomas Wayne’s last act should never be to ball up his fist
to further agitate the aggressor, but to comfort/shield his son from
danger. That said if I never see
Thomas and MARTHA Wayne be murdered again I would be completely happy with
it. BvS is the 8th
cinematic version of Batman in the last 30 years we know he’s Batman because
his parents are dead…IT IS KNOWN!!
We’ve seen some real advancement
with the CGI rendering of large humanoid characters. The Hulk immediately springs to mind as we have seen that
character progress to look more and more lifelike. Then there is doomsday in this movie (or you may refer to
him as the genitally deficient teenage mutant ninja turtle or Bone Hulk if you
like) which really makes you wonder if maybe a muscle guy in grey paint would’ve
been better. Maybe while they were
shelling out money for a plastic Michael Shannon body they could’ve paid him to
do mo-cap & serve as a model for the face rendering of the Super-Slayer.
Henry Cavill’s Superman had 43
lines of dialogue. That is it. Supermimes most verbose use of verbiage
occurred as Clark Kent in the dick measuring library thing you saw in the trailer. Most of his other screen time was spent
sulking, nodding, watching other people speak, taking off for all flights like
an asshole, getting his ass kicked, and playing Super-Christ (oh trust me I’m
not done with that one yet).
You know what I love about
comics? When the bad guys, the
good guys, and the guy at 7/11 know one another’s secret identities. Oh, but don’t worry about Clark Kent
he’s not missing after the Doomsday event he’s
open-casket-in-MARTHA’s-house-dead.
So that pesky hide-behind-the-glasses-dual-identity thing that has been
iconic for 75+ years that won’t burden us in any future Superman or Justice
League movies.
Dammit Batfleck you had one job in
the million bagpipes amazing grace funeral scene. All you had to say was “of all the souls I’ve encountered in
my life his was the most…human” <drop mic>.
Did you know Jimmy Olsen was an
undercover spy for the CIA that was exposed and then shot in the desert because
the director thought it was fun?
Yeah, that guy that who starred as “Superman’s Pal” in his own comic
line surely couldn’t serve any purpose in future movies to help humanize
Cavill’s Superman.
Speaking of that desert scene…how
is that a set-up for Superman?
This is the George Costanza candy line-up of setting up a superhero to
look bad. “Yeah that bullet proof
guy came down here from flying, threw old boy through a wall, and then he shot
all these guys with a gun and definitely not his laser eyes.”
One of the things that bothered me
the most about BvS was that the characterizations were so off. Essentially Goyer & Terrio grafted
the Lex Luthor anti-Kryptonian rhetoric onto Batfleck to simplify why they needed
to fight. That would’ve been fine
if Luthor wasn’t also in the movie, because of this choice it takes a compelling
narrative away from Lex and what we are left with is a whiny atheist character. I’m not a professional screenwriter or
storyteller, but I think a much simpler way of looking at things would’ve been
to play Superman & Batman off one another by reinforcing who they are as
characters. It plays out naturally
with the rule of law (Superman) vs. vigilantism (Batman). It could’ve easily been set up with
Superman being slapped on the wrist by the government and them saying “don’t
let anything like the battle of Metropolis happen again or we will have to go
after you and the people like you” with Batman coming along to rock the apple
cart for everybody.
The YouTube superhero intros in and
of themselves were not that bad. That said they probably would’ve been better
suited to be Blu-ray fodder, or viral marketing during the production of the
“Justice League” movie.
There is more that I would probably
like to say, but I’m already nearing 2000 words on this post and I’m losing
steam, so…
UGLY-
Characterizations as I stated
earlier were really my biggest problem with this film. The main players just did not feel
right to me.
Superman was the biggest transgression
for me. Snyder/Goyer/Terrio or
whomever is so set on conveying this Christ-like mythology for big blue that
they completely miss the mark on what that would look like. Geoff Johns (DC’s resident guru &
lord of all that he sees) wrote a near perfect characterization of
Superman/Clark Kent in his book “Superman: Secret Origins”. While the Christopher Reeve influence
is definitely there Johns tweaks some things to really bring home how any
version of the character can inspire hope in regular everyday people. His Superman only sees himself as a man
that uses his special abilities to do good, and through that he implores the
people of Metropolis to use their own special abilities in service of others. It’s that simple. He is not a savior and would never to
pretend to be one. He doesn’t have
a cynical world view; he tries to see the good in everyone, and is hesitant to
use violence. I’m not asking for a
Richard Donner spin-the-earth-backwards innocent movie, but is it too much to
ask for Superman to be an actual symbol for hope? The Clark Kent that calls Jimmy Olsen James and listens to
his problems because he respects him as a person, or the Clark that lets Steve
Lombard try to pull pranks on him only to have them blow up in his face I’d
love to see that guy. Superman,
when correctly written, is the guy you want to be, but also the guy you’d love
to have as a big brother. With the
way he is portrayed in BvS there is no emotional tether, so I felt nothing when
he was killed on screen.
The problems with Batman were more
nerd-argument fodder. I didn’t
care for the killing, the branding, or even the fact that he was drinking
alcohol, but it’s little stuff like that which is open to interpretation to
each director and each viewer.
“Rawr Batman has killed in every cinematic adaptation RAWR,” that
doesn’t mean I have to like it.
MARTHA THINGS
Being ear violated by Hans Zimmer’s
“score” was a form of torture I would not even subject ISIS to.
EZRA MILLER there is no real
reasoning here I just don’t like him, and I don’t want him to be Barry Allen.
Well I’ve reached my limit
today. If you read through that entire
thing I will present you with a medal at a time TBD in my most Leia-est of
dresses. Until next time “TELL
THAT TO ZOD’S SNAPPED NECK” oops I mean thanks for reading and I will see you
soon at The Comic Shop.
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